Use Certainty in your voice and body language:
What does certainty constitute?
Speaking slower, taking pauses while speaking, a straight spine, minimal slouching, appropriate eye-contact etc.
Certain body language and vocal cues indicate self-assuredness. The state of being ‘sure of yourself.’
The indication is not just to other people, but to your own self too.
Which is why it is important to practise this manner of conducting yourself even ‘when no one is looking.’
This is important because this way you are displaying to yourself that your self-assuredness is not performative rather innately authentic.
And that shows when you are interacting with the world.
It’s common knowledge that thoughts can be used to transform your physical reality, but often start with the body first to transform how you feel about yourself, ultimately.
Do not break promises to yourself: The no. 1 way to lose trust in yourself is to not do what you told yourself you would do.
Imagine a friend tells you they will meet you today. But, the don’t show up.
The later call you profusely apologising that they had a last moment thing come up promising they will see your next Wednesday.
Come Wednesday they cancel 5 mins before meeting up because they were too tired from working all day felt like they deserved the break.
Imagine this happening 3 more times, do you think you are going to take their words and promises seriously moving forward?
Yet, we do this with ourselves every day.
And slowly at first and then rapidly your faith in yourself erodes.
Your faith in your ability to handle crisis erodes.
Because how can you trust yourself if you can’t even do what you said you would do?
And when crisis hits you feel insanely anxious BECAUSE you do not have a history of being able to trust yourself.
Make To-do lists that’s only have tasks that you are certain you will finish. A to-do list with 6 things to do and 6 things checked off is much better than 20 things to do and 6 things checked off.
Find a daily activity that involves using a hard skill: USE THE CREATIVE BODY-MIND CONNECTION AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.
Find an everyday practise and cultivate it. It could be dancing, singing, watercolour techniques, anything that requires you to practise a HARD SKILL.
The process of learning something every day that isn’t attached to monetary benefits or earning a living can be intensely freeing and fulfilling.
You get to feel the confidence that comes from expanding your skillsets, being able to do new things without the stress of making money out of it.
Give yourself a pocket of freedom to learn without the pressures of ‘real life.’
PS: I have been insanely busy the past week, exhausted to sit down, think, and write an entirely new newsletter, but had a promise to keep to you and myself. So, the next time you catch yourself thinking “what if I just don’t do it or I promise I will get it done tomorrow” recognise and break the pattern by JUST DOING IT.
See you next week :)
-Ipsita
Your writing is beautiful. The analogies you make are simple yet so impactful. I really like the way you talk about the friend not keeping their promises and how the same can erode the mental picture we have of ourselves. Thanks, for writing this and sharing it with eveyone. Kudos!!
It's just like one to one mentoring.
Love it.